Talking with a Friend about Cats

Me: Sometimes I don’t understand cats ;u;  *or you for that matter* *shhhh I didn’t say anything* Theo is purring away while I’m petting her, soaking up all the attention, and then she suddenly tries to bite me QuQ

Friend: *nobody can understand me not even my parents ;u; * quq Dude I don’t know why cats do that. I mean, do they want to be pet or not? MAKE UP YOUR MINDS YOU BASTARDS >:0

Me: *I SAID I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING SHHHHHHH* I know it’s like ‘I want to be petted! ^u^ Pet me, pet me, pet me, BISH YOU BETTER STEP OFF I DON’T WANT TO BE TOUCHED *0*’